I don’t know if you’ve ever experienced times of depression, or darkness, or heaviness in your life, but I certainly have. I started writing this several months ago, during a very dark season of my life. Hopefully it will be an encouragement to you if you’re going through some dark moments as well.
The world is broken
like a hand painted plate
crashed on my kitchen floor
sharp fragments lying everywhere
painful to touch
threatening to damage me
as I pick them up.
Oh the plans I had for this dish,
the dinner parties it was supposed to see.
In more ways than one
My heart shattered into a million pieces
when that metaphorical plate hit the floor.
Created for wholeness,
a need for completeness written into my being
but right now I’m only seeing
The light shines in the darkness
and the darkness has not overcome it.
But sometimes, it seems like it overcomes me.
When all I can see
and the weeping that comes with it.
longing for the joy of morning
but the only morning I see
are mourning clothes wrapped around me.
I wasn’t meant to carry
Because I am a vessel of light.
Not heaviness and weight and agony.
The struggle makes me
Darkness is a liar.
Making the familiar strange.
Trying to rearrange
and feel like prison.
I have to remember Who’s going to win
and is winning even now.
I will not fall into the pit.
I will not sit
while my mind is conquered
by the one to whom it does not belong.
Because the Lord God sings His song
And this gives me hope.
A metaphorical rope
to hang on to.
Because I am not lost.
Even when an ocean of anxiety
threatens to drown me
from the inside out.
I am not lost.
Even when depression tries
the light just barely hanging on inside
and darkness feels all consuming
and disaster seems to be looming
around over corner
I am not lost.
Even when worrying
becomes as natural as breathing
and even when
to tell me
that the weight
of my sin is so great
that not even the Son of God could carry it
that pieces were left behind for me to pick back up again,
carrying around this remnant of my sin
how can He love me like He does?
I AM NOT LOST.
Because I am under the authority of the
Ever Present God
who turns darkness into light
and makes day from night
and will always fight
It is completely
impossible to be lost
from the love of Christ Jesus
who frees us
to live in the light
instead of oppression
Not even the depths can separate me from the love of God.
Because He’s there too.
To borrow from Psalms:
If I rise on the dawn,
If I, settle on the far side of the sea,
even there His hand will guide me.
I try to hide in the darkness
or rather it tries to hide me.
But God makes the night shine like the day.
It’s no match for His radiant glory.
God takes it’s ill purpose,
and writes a new story.
His Holy presence
makes the darkness light
and those who look to Him reflect it.
I was a barely flickering candle.
And now I’ve gone electric.
He brings me out of darkness
and the deepest gloom
and all that remains
are broken chains.
The light of the righteous shines brightly.
perhaps is remembering who exactly,
the God I serve is.
Strength in my weakness
He speaks this
over me. All sufficient grace.
The Christ who conquered darkness on the cross
so I can confidently say I AM NOT LOST.