Spoken Word: Identity

Hey there! Here’s a new spoken word piece. I performed it at the LifeLight music festival over the weekend. Here’s the video!

 

Some days I look in the mirror and forget who my Creator is.

Because it feels like I don’t just have curves,

I’ve got rolling hills

and cliffs

and potholes.

Like I need to wear a sign that says, “Caution: Under construction. Please excuse our mess.”

And some days it seems like when God created me He

went a little more Picasso than Michelangelo and I’ve never cared for abstract art, so

Some days…

I grow weary, of pieces of me, being called

problem areas

and unsightly

and embarrassing.

And some days I forget that I’m the daughter of the King.

Some days I look in the mirror, and see only my mistakes.

Because that girl who was perfectly knitted together in the womb,

Has had 27 years to screw things up.

Sometimes all I see are stretch marks and scars

Evidence of a fallen world etched across my exterior

making me feel inferior,

not just compared to others

but compared to the best version of myself.

The one that was intended

before I got rear-ended

by sin and the world.

Just another victim in this accident scene

a trillion car pileup, millennia old.

I’m told

things about myself that aren’t right

it’s a fight

because for whatever reason

sometimes, understanding the truth is hard.

And sometimes I forget my name.

because it’s so hard to hear over the shame

and failures

and lies spoken over me.

I am Beloved.

This is the only identity I need to walk in.

And yet I choose to re-name myself with lies again.

Slipping into them like a second skin.

Forgetting I’ve been forgiven.

forgetting who I belong to

and that I’ve been made new.

and that my failures have been hurled into the sea

and are no longer a part of me

not my identity

because I’m covered in mercy

new each morning.

When pain and lies become your comfort zone,

it’s time to get a new home.

Because the oppression of self-hatred

belongs in the pit of hell,

and that’s not where we were meant to dwell.

Satan can’t touch me,

so he builds me a prison instead

where I am fed

a daily diet of lies

growing emaciated and sick

my brain thick

with anxiety and doubt.

I want out

of this mind prison.

A mind focused on the flesh

has put me on death

row.

These bars feel so real

but they’re completely artificial.

Destroyed by a sacrificial

lamb on a cross

a couple thousand years ago

so

that means this cage is ridiculous

because Satan’s not my master.

I wasn’t created for ruin or disaster

or to be a slave to anything but righteousness.

It’s time to get a new address.

Rescued from darkness

now a resident of the Kingdom,

I’ve been transferred from slavery to freedom.

From guilt to forgiveness

and from the enemy’s power

to the power of Jesus.

The penalty of sin died with Christ on the cross

and He has found what once was lost.

My home is in the Kingdom and I’m flying there first class, platinum elite.

I don’t need to worry about these overhead bins because I’ve checked my baggage.

I’ve got a name tag that reads Beloved

in thick bold letters so everyone can see it.

Written backwards so that every time I look in the mirror I can read it and remember who I am and Who

I belong to.

And if I had a nickname,

it would be chosen.

Because I’m hand picked

knit

together for a purpose

so not worthless.

I need to replace my mirror

with a resume

of God’s work in my life.

So every time I looked

I could see that who I am

is so much more

than what I am not.

Unless you count

not-condemned

not-forsaken

not-alone

not-abandoned

and so on

because then I am not

a whole lot

of things.

My birth certificate says adopted

from fearful slave

to confident daughter.

A full heir to my Father’s estate

which also means sharing in Christ’s suffering

but I count all that nothing

compared to the surpassing

worth of knowing Him.

I’m made complete

no missing pieces.

Not because of me,

but because of Jesus.

A masterpiece not meant to hang in a gallery

but to be

out in the world

shining

beautiful because of Who

I’m reflecting

rejecting

anything that tells me otherwise.

I’m an overcomer

free from shame

a new person

with a new name

remembered

protected

sanctified

holy and blameless in God’s eyes

given victory over lies.

So

when I look in the mirror and forget that I’m loved.

I guess there’s only one way to tune out the haters.

Stop studying the mirror,

and study my Creator.

 

I’m so thankful for the opportunity to speak at LifeLight. It was an absolutely wonderful experience! So many people work so hard to make it happen. What a great ministry!

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3 Thoughts on “Spoken Word: Identity

  1. Marilyn Moeller on September 5, 2014 at 6:07 pm said:

    Love it! Have been so thinking about you (and praying for you) in this endeavor! It seems you had a great time. Know I am thankful for your leadership and your insight and your willingness to put your great literary skills to work for the Kingdom! So proud of you! Blessings, my friend!

  2. Shelley on September 6, 2014 at 8:28 am said:

    Jen! That is AWESOME! Thank you for sharing your gift with us!

  3. Rob Hendrix on October 10, 2014 at 11:48 pm said:

    Wonderful Jenifer!!
    So glad to get to see you deliver this after hearing you share in the car on the way to the airport in July 🙂
    Keep writing, and experiencing, and following the Lord…..you are a blessing!

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